One of the terms you hear frequently around 12 step rooms is this mysterious “spiritual experience”. I’ve had many spiritual experiences since walking into my first meeting, but somehow I still tend to naturally stray away from the spiritual side of things. It’s not something that comes naturally to me all the time, although it is improving all the time. Usually I am prompted by something someone says, or something I’ve read to return to the thing that brings me the most joy: letting go and letting God.

This morning I was reminded once again that I need to return to God’s grace after reading this passage in one of my daily readers:

God’s power in your life increases as your ability to understand His grace increases. The power of God’s grace is only limited by the understanding and will of each individual. God’s miracle-working power is only limited in each individual soul by the lack of spiritual vision of that soul. God respects free-will, the right of each person to accept or reject His miracle-working power. Only the sincere desire of the soul gives Him the opportunity to bestow it. I pray that I may not limit God’s power by my lack of vision. I pray that I may keep my mind open today to His influence.

Powerful! Each one of those sentences has enough substance in it that I could ponder them individually for a while before moving to the next. I love that all I need to do is grow my spiritual vision of my soul to know peace and God’s good grace. How do I grow my spiritual vision? I believe it’s by thoroughly trusting and accepting whatever live brings me each day, even when - or especially when I’m disappointed by circumstances. My human vision is limited. I see the trees and wish they were trees of another species. What I can’t see is that the entire forest is just beyond the few trees in front of me and there’s trees whose infinite beauty and strength I never even knew existed.

Today I’m going to be grateful for the trees in front of me and trust that I will see the rest of the forest when I’m meant to.

I’m in a new book club with some friends from program and we’ve chosen our first book: Invisible Acts of Power by Caroline Myss. I’m about 1/3 of the way through it, and so far I’m really liking it. The book is all about service - and you know how much of a proponent of service I am! So I get to pat myself on the back as I read along. Heh. But seriously, it’s a great read so far and I’m learning a lot of new things about chakras. Before this week, I don’t know that I knew anything, really, about chakras at all. I love all this new age-y type stuff, though, so I’m soaking it all in. I have a feeling I’ll want to buy a book devoted solely to chakras once I’m done this one.

Our bookclub meeting is in less than two weeks - I will be sure to check back in afterwards to tell you how it went. I’m very interested to hear other people’s take on the book, and the insights they gained from it. I’ll share mine in more depth at that time as well.

The other day while I was in the shower shaving my legs, I was thinking about how I don’t spend enough time in prayer and meditation. My first line of defense is always, “I don’t have enough time.” An excuse that doesn’t hold much weight when you really confront it. It just so happened that I had this thought while I was shaving my legs and it occurred to me that I spend more time each day shaving my legs than I do communing with God. Now that is just plain sad. If I can make the time every single day to shave my legs, then I can make the time to pray and meditate.

Here’s my current (extremely lacking) routine consists of: Before getting in the shower, I hit my knees and ask God to keep me sober and abstinent from compulsive eating. I ask Him to keep my thoughts free of selfish, self-seeking, and dishonest motives. I ask Him to give me the words and the actions to say and do throughout the day. I ask that He help me keep my will aligned with His. I then think about my day ahead (briefly) and ask for God to be there with me throughout any challenges that may arise or to give me strength to get through things I feel may be hard. Then I jump in the shower. At night, I hit my knees again and thank God for another day of sobriety and abstinence. I think about the key people who had an effect on me that day and I express my gratitude for them being in my life. I think about the day that passed and acknowledge where my behavior could have been better and decide if I need to make an amends or not. Then I hop in the bed. Now, I also will “talk” to God periodically through out the day, so it’s not like I’m forgetting about my morning and evening prayers in between saying them. It’s just that I don’t spend enough time just being quiet and listening to what God has to say to me. In the past when I’ve made that part of my routine, I’ve seen tremendous, immediate results. I do fully intend to get back to the practice of meditation, and I know I will be reminded of that each and every time I shave my legs now. I believe God gave me that thought, just so I would be constantly reminded. I love that my God works like that in my life. Now - to heed the message!

The way I drive is a pretty good indicator of how I am doing emotionally and spiritually. Sounds funny, doesn’t it? But, it’s true.

If I’m racing down the highway, trying to make all the green lights, getting annoyed every time a slow car or red light gets in my way, banging my hands on the steering wheel and yelling, “Come on!!!!” - there’s a problem. I am definitely not God-centered, or anything else centered for that matter.

On the other hand, if I’m cruising along at or near the speed limit (hey, I have a lead foot), happily accepting each stop sign, red light, and obnoxiously slow person in front of me, I’m feeling serene in all areas of my life most likely. I can believe that I got stopped by every red light because “the universe has it out for me” or because I wasn’t meant to get where I was going until the precise time I arrived. Maybe I hit 10 red lights because that means I missed getting into an accident ahead. Who knows? The point is, it’s all about my perspective. If I believe that God is taking care of me no matter what, and that I just need to trust - it carries over into all aspects of my life. I just happen to notice it first when I’m behind the wheel, as silly as it may seem.

If God seems far away, who moved?

I love this quote. I saw it on a church billboard once and it really struck me. It has stayed with me ever since I saw it, too. Now when I catch myself saying or thinking that I don’t feel close to my higher power, I remind myself that He didn’t go anywhere - I did. I liken it to an electrical outlet. I need to plug in every day to get my electricity (power) to function. I’m not going to run around in places without outlets wondering why I don’t have any electricity for my appliances. I’m going to take the appliance to the outlet and plug it in. My Higher Power, whom I call God, is always in one place, waiting for me to plug in. I just need to go to Him and plug in.