A friend asked me to be a speaker at an AA meeting tomorrow. I’ll tell my story of what it used to be like, what happened, and what it’s like now - concerning my alcoholism. I’m excited, but not - because the meeting is at 6 freaking AM on a Saturday! Who are these people who like going to meetings at 6 AM on the weekends? Not me, that’s for sure. When my friend asked, she said, “Do you want to?” I said, “No, but I will.” Since I’m so honest and all these days.

I’m going to tell my sponsor that I deserve bonus points for this one. Can’t wait for her reaction to that!

WebMD is reporting on a new study about the different types of alcoholics. The findings broke the alcoholics into five different types. This study now gives proof to something the people in 12-step fellowships have known for some time: to qualify as an alcoholic, you don’t have to be one of those stereotypical falling down, living in the gutter, can’t hold a job type drunks. In fact, the lowest percentage of alcoholics fall into that classification.

Here are the five alcoholic types as defined by this study:

The young adult subtype accounts for about 32 percent of U.S. alcoholics. They’re young adults who rarely seek help for alcohol dependence. About 24 years old, they became alcoholics by age 20, on average. They drink less frequently than other alcoholics, but they tend to binge drink when they drink. This is the largest subtype.

The young antisocial subtype comprises 21 percent of U.S. alcoholics. They are 26 years old, on average. More than half have antisocial personality disorder. They tended to start drinking at 15 and became alcoholics by 18 — earlier than other subtypes. They are
more likely to smoke tobacco and pot. The young antisocial subtype and the young adult subtype don’t overlap, Moss tells WebMD.

The functional subtype accounts for about 19 percent of U.S. alcoholics. They’re generally middle-aged, working adults who tend to have stable relationships, more education, and higher incomes than other alcoholics. They tend to drink every other day, often consuming five or more drinks on drinking days.

The intermediate familial subtype makes up nearly 19 percent of U.S. alcoholics. Nearly half have close relatives who are alcoholics. Alcoholics in this subtype typically began drinking by 17 and became alcoholics in their early 30s.

The chronic severe subtype is the rarest subtype, accounting for about 9 percent of U.S. alcoholics. This subtype mainly includes men, has the highest divorce rate, and frequently includes users of illicit drugs.

See? Only 9% of all alcoholics fall into the category of what a lot of people think of when they hear the word alcoholic.