I was at the dentist’s office this morning where I picked up a recent People magazine. In there was an article which featured three women who had the gastric bypass surgery, and found themselves addicted to other substances once they could no longer abuse food. The contents of the article was no surprise to me. I see and hear about people switching addictions all of the time. These three women chose alcohol, shopping, and cigarettes as their new drugs of choice. I was pleased with the article because they talked about Debtors Anonymous and Overeaters Anonymous, and showed how just losing the weight doesn’t fix the bigger problem. I believe that if you’re an addict, you’re going to choose your poison until you get your emotional and spiritual selves fixed. Until then, you’ll just keep picking up or switching addictions. Addiction is a powerful, killing force to be reckoned with and it scares me.

Today I have to be mindful of picking up new addictions, because it comes so easily to me. It’s just who I am at my core. Food is no longer an option, neither is alcohol or drugs or cigarettes. I’ve gone to shopping a bit, and I do need to be careful with that. The internet is also an addiction for me. I find myself getting sucked up into things online and before I know it, hours have gone by. I’ve made changes recently to counteract that, and I’ve been talking to my sponsor about it. I just need to keep repeating the mantra of “moderation in all things”, because it’s not in my nature to do anything moderately. I’m an all or nothing, black or white kind of girl. Living life in the gray is new to me, but I find that I like it. I just have to remember to stay there.

Technorati Tags: addiction, 12 step programs, Overeaters Anonymous, Debtors Anonymous

I just discovered a new series on HBO called Addiction. I missed the premiere, but I’m sure it will be replayed a zillion times. When I go home for lunch, I’m going to set my DVR up to start recording. I’m highly intrigued, as you’re probably aware, by all things addiction. HBO usually does a good job on their shows and documentaries, hopefully this one is no exception.

Technorati Tags: HBO, Addiction, television, documentary

I lived my whole life until I was 32 with a major problem with food. If I had kept a journal then, it would have read like this Diary of an Overeater. I didn’t write that, but I definitely could have. I am so eternally grateful that a journal entry today would look nothing like that one. I’m fast approaching five years of living in sanity where food and life itself is concerned. Some days it feels like I can’t believe I was ever that other person and some days I feel like I can’t believe I am this new person.

The only thing I know today is that I have to keep following the steps and solutions laid down before me, one day at a time, and I can keep my disease of compulsive overeating arrested.

Today I will practice saying no.

There have been many times in my life when I wanted to say it but was afraid. Even now, I may still be afraid. But I will say it anyway if No is what I really mean.

When someone asks me a question or offers a suggestion, I will stop and think about what I want before I respond. I will practice saying no to myself first.

Do I really want to do the favor being asked of me? Is it okay with me that friends come to dinner? Is it good for me to attend a party or event?

When I learn to say no to myself in simple matters, it becomes easier to say no to others. There have been times I went along with others to avoid conflict, or because I didn’t know what I wanted.

Today I will listen to myself and express myself. I have the right to say no.

From the book:

Time to Break Free by Judith R. Smith

That’s one thing all addicts have a hard time with - saying no. My life was a series of yeses. Yes, you should take that drink. Yes, you should take that extra bite. Yes, you should over indulge in everything you come across. I didn’t really feel like I had a choice to say no to the monster that was my disease. I would try at first to use my will power to say no, but that, of course, never worked in the end. All the will power in the world isn’t strong enough to fight addiction. No matter what happens, it will always win over me. The only thing strong enough to overcome the disease is my Higher Power, in my experience.