Our vacation was absolutely wonderful and everything with the food turned out just fine. I’m so glad that I took care of myself and prepared my food ahead of time, though, because I really needed it. There were quite a few instances where I would have been completely out of luck with eating any sort of food that falls on my food plan if I didn’t have my own food with me. That’s a big plug for planning right there! I know I freaked out a little, and got a bit anal about it all, but I’m glad I thought it all through.

There was one tough time at dinner on the last day we were there that actually put me in tears. My aunt had a nice, home-cooked meal on the table for everyone and I realized there wouldn’t be enough green vegetables for everyone else if I took my full two cups of green beans (fresh from the garden!). I asked my aunt if she had any more vegetables I could cook up and she looked at me like I had three heads and said, “There’s corn on the cob, salad, and mashed potatoes on the table. And cranberries are good for you, too.” Well, corn on the cob and mashed potatoes both count as a starch for me, not a vegetable. The salad had crumbled bacon, cheese, and a creamy salad dressing mixed through out already. The cranberries were in some sort of gelled concoction, not to mention the fact that the cranberry is a fruit.

I sort of went into an internal panic. I’m not close enough to my aunt to “talk back” - she’s really my mom’s aunt and is almost 80 years old, so I didn’t think there was too much I could say that would have made a difference anyway. I went back to the table briefly before running downstairs to the bathroom where I lost it for a few minutes. In that moment, I was just upset about being a compulsive overeater and hating that I wasn’t a “normal” eater who didn’t have to go through these issues. I hated being different than everyone else the whole weekend, and have everyone make observations about how I was eating. “Oh, you’re so good.” “I wish I could do that.” It gets old after a while.

After a few minutes, though, I started to get myself together and headed back upstairs. When I looked up, my husband was coming down. Seeing him made me burst into tears all over again. We headed back downstairs where he held me for a few minutes and listened to me moan about hating being different. Then I recomposed myself yet again and we headed up. I felt so self-conscious because it was obvious that everyone knew I was upset and had been crying. Then everyone started announcing that they didn’t need any green beans and that I should take as many as I needed. lol

I got through it, though, and the important thing is that I remained abstinent. It wasn’t comfortable or easy, but it was much better than the alternative. The experience also helped me to cultivate some gratitude for the fact that I don’t have to fight like that every day or every meal - I am surrounded by supportive people who help make it easy to stay on my plan. If I only have to experience that type of situation on rare occasions, I can handle it. In the meantime, I can also look at why the situation caused me to become so upset so I can do something about it the next time.

We’re planning a trip back to the same location in another couple of months, so perhaps I’ll get an opportunity to put some new skills into place then. Wouldn’t that be great?