I know a lot of people have the misconception that eating Chinese food = healthy. I’ve known for a long time that isn’t the case, and I just assumed that the general populace knew this, too. Last week, though, CNN published an article about the “hidden” sodium and calories in Chinese food, so maybe people aren’t as aware as I thought. The food spotlighted in the article is General Tso’s Chicken, which just so happens to be my kids’ favorite dish. No surprise there, really. It used to be my favorite, as well.

Today when I order Chinese, I get steamed veggies and meat with brown rice on the side. Some places actually make a spicy brown sauce with no MSG, flour, or sugar, so I can request that occasionally. However, it’s safest to just order it plain and bring my own spices. Just one more reason why I’d rather eat at home than ordering out any where. It’s more nutritionally sound, tastes better, and costs a lot less.

Technorati Tags: nutrition, Chinese food

How many times have you said, “So-and-so really put me in a bad mood,” or “Well, I was in a good mood until their bad mood rubbed off on me”? If you’re like most people I know, you’ve said it with some regularity in your life. I know I’ve spent a good deal of time blaming other people for my mood - and actions, too! But, that’s another post.

Did you know that you have the power to choose your own moods? It’s true! You really do. You have a choice in deciding what kind of mood you’re going to be in. Other people’s foul dispositions do not have to affect your (hopefully) sunny one. We can detach from people and be our own individuals. When I first learned of this concept, I was amazed. I always thought I was at the mercy of others’ moods, words, and actions. To realize I could choose to be in a great mood while my significant other is having “the worst day of their life” was empowering.

I still fall into the trap of thinking I can allow other people to dictate how I’m feeling. Lifelong behaviors don’t disappear over night. The difference today is I can at least recognize what I’m doing now. I can turn my thoughts around in a short amount of time once I realize I’ve fallen into old, negative behaviors.

The other day, I was woken up by the dog pouncing on me, pulling clothes off the top of her crate, and just generally being a nuisance. I was not pleased to say the least. When I went out to the family room to announce my displeasure (ha!), I guess I was pretty nasty. Soon after, I heard cabinets being slammed and footsteps pounding the floor.and I was told that “my nastiness put them in a bad mood”. It took everything inside of me to not preach the message I’m writing about here, but I did it. I’m told that one day my example will be enough to affect changes in others, and so I rely on that and come here to share with you all.

Technorati Tags: codependents, codependency, recovery, self-help

I just discovered a new series on HBO called Addiction. I missed the premiere, but I’m sure it will be replayed a zillion times. When I go home for lunch, I’m going to set my DVR up to start recording. I’m highly intrigued, as you’re probably aware, by all things addiction. HBO usually does a good job on their shows and documentaries, hopefully this one is no exception.

Technorati Tags: HBO, Addiction, television, documentary

As I travel along this journey of self discovery, it’s helpful to have companions who are like-minded. I’ve found such a connection with a friend of mine named Deb over at Body, Mind and Solar. Deb shares honestly about her quest for emotional and physical wellness, and that’s what I strive for - the honesty. Deb, thanks for being a traveling companion, I couldn’t ask for a better one.

I’ve come to some painful realizations the past few days. I’m discovering a pattern with people in my life that paints a pretty ugly picture of me. I hate seeing it, but I know that shining the light on the ugly will help it to shrivel up and die. The thing is, I’ve had a history of relationships with friends that has pretty consistently looked like this: friend is someone in need or a weak personality type; I come along and rescue and/or dominate this person. Each situation looks slightly different because all relationships are unique, but the underlying pattern is there and can’t be denied.

The even more painful piece of this discovery is that the pattern started with my sister. I was always the wise, older sister who she looked up to. She was never assertive, never spoke her mind, always backed down to me and always deferred to whatever I said. If I told her to go get me a drink or something to eat, she did. I was a major control freak and wanted her to do exactly as I said at all times - and for the most part she did. Then when she went to college, she suddenly changed. She grew a backbone and started standing up to me and refusing to do as I told, disagreeing with me and just generally being her own person. I HATED IT!!!!!!!! That was the beginning of our relationship falling apart and a huge distance developing between us. For years I’ve blamed her for why our relationship isn’t that great and now I’m realizing I have a big part in it, too.

There’s a close friend who was just the latest in my string of rescues who is growing stronger and changing into someone who doesn’t need to be rescued any longer. I’m finding myself less and less attracted to her. There are other factors at play in this relationship deteriorating, but I know the fact that I no longer have as much control over her is a big part of my distance.

Intellectually I know that I don’t have control over people - in my mind there is only one who has all power, and it’s not me. Somehow, though, I continue to act on old beliefs. I sure hope after achieving some growth in this area that I’ll start attracting people who don’t need to be rescued.

Technorati Tags: recovery, relationships, control, self-help